The Glitch in Matrix

 January 3, 2021

Uluwatu, Bali

11:36 pm

Sometimes I wonder whether somebody actually read my series of online notes that has absolutely no specific themes going on, the more real question is actually "Does somebody still read nowadays?". I laugh at my own agony and somehow find a release that nobody actually read this and find a safe haven that no one actually care.Yet on another spectrum, it is a mixed feelings THAT no one cares. Deep down I want someone to care. I want someone genuinely, meaningfully care..

THE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

This very person sees me as a sweet as cotton candy kinda woman
sometimes he told me i’m a strong lady
This very person calls me tough
and the other times he told me i’m soft
This very person knows that I'm miss independent
and yet he likes the way I needed him to be around every now and then
somehow I catch a glimpse of admiration
glimpse of adoration and infatuation coming from his crystal blue eyes.


Yet most often than not I have my eyes blurred by the tears in the middle of the night.
Curling up my body so that it could embraces its own, wishing to trick the mind into thinking that He, that person, my person is the one embracing.

WONDER

Amsterdam, Amstel
2017, June 11th
08:45 pm


I see the world in wonder.

Those words kept its echoes on my mind. I was on 12:00 pm Sunday service as the worshippers began to sing the song "Wonder" my heart bursts out full of joy.

I see the world in wonder.

The more I think about it, the more I solely realised of how much loved and blessed I am by the one and only God. I once dreamt of seeing the world wondering how it's like to be at the other side of the world seeing all the beauties and wonders.

How being 25 has got me into thinking

Just a couple days ago I am officially welcomed to the quarter life, or some might say the quarter squad #quartersquad and as far as i'm concerned nothing specific has changed in terms of physical transformation (at least that's what I think), well maybe my face gets weirder lately? i have no idea lol.

So many things happened in my life from age 24 to my newly quarter life now, it was a hell of a roller coaster ride I would say. Crazy experiences! life lessons, heart broken stories, sincere happy moments, family bonding, friends who went away, family drama, the new guy(s) I dated, questioning phase, insecurities, mad love? revelation, new faces, and all many priceless moments that I been thru in just 365 days.

HOLIWORK: LONDON BTS (Behind The Scene)

Coldplay - Amazing Day

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just landed in Heathrow International airport, welcome to London."

Grey clouds welcomed me and the entire crew on June 23rd 2016, it was a cloudy afternoon in London and rain start pouring down. I saw few people in a uniform standing before the 2L-door on our Boeing 777 giving us signs to follow their path. We -crew- took the elevator down to the parking lane and head to the bus, whereas the bus took us to the crew security area. Our luggages were sent to the security room and we were asked to open all of it. 

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2009

I promised my high school-me back then that one day I would be in London no matter how no matter what. I was totally clueless how the heck I was going to make it happen honestly. High school was a tough years, my parents were in an unstable financial condition, my dad's businesses were all lead to the dead end, he was tricked by his partners somehow and we struggled to keep our feet on the ground, yet I still believe that I'm still gonna make it anyway. Fly to London I shall do. I just know.

Ocean

"Flight Attendant, Take Off Position"

picture courtesy: here

2015, September

it's me sitting, not in my uniform not with my hair do, just sitting next to the window with my casual white dress as another normal passenger. Crystal clear I reckon my heart beats faster, all those excitements bursting out loud, my head full about you and all the wrongness that I sense.

Here I am, on your land. Airport smells like the ocean. You... you smell like the ocean. I saw you there with your charming smile, still wrong, all of these are wrong.

11 Tugas Pramugari yang Belum Kamu Ketahui

Good news for wannabes!

Disini gue akan kembali menulis mengenai hal-hal ke-pramugari-an -bukan eyd yang baik- hehe jadi simak baik-baik yah. Mungkin bagi kalian yang udah nggak sabar pengen cepet-cepet jadi pramugari pasti recently melakukan googling mengenai apa aja sih kerjaan pramugari di awan sana? Mungkin ada yang sudah paham bahwa we as a cabin crew our main duty is to perform safety, tapi selain safety apa aja sih yang dilakukan? apa iya cuma menyajikan makanan dan minuman aja? Apa iya cuma senyam-senyum nyengar-nyengir aja? Boarding angkat-angkatin barang penumpang? Well without further due, let's get to know what we do exactly from the moment we enter the aircraft to up in the air!

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A Glance Hello to Old Fellas

I knowwwwww.. it's been forever since I write the last time (classic). It's been 8 months i know :P

I will not make up by saying I've been too busy and start making excuses why I never write again, but hey ladies, I will try my best to keep it up with you, thirsty souls!

Anywayyyy, bakalan banyak banget yang pengen gue share disini mulai dari new adventures, new hobby, and all those rituals/sports/beauties that I will start write down haha, *pinky promise*

Jadiiiiiiii sabar aja yah menunggu postingan jalan-jalan dan lain lainnya. Okay?

XOXO

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Sleepless Letter to Dearest Bride (The Prettiest of All)

Remind me what's this blog all about again..?

I wish i can write something useful for you thirsty souls. I just couldn't. At least for now, I couldn't. I kinda feel I am a failure. That's my case. But hey let me write about something else, excuse me, would you?

This morning, I wake up really early after been awake all night long, probably even to morning. All i remember is I finished two bottles of wine. It's my best friend going to marry for whatever's sake, and it's me being nervous? I guess? Let's assume so! *wink*

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Satu Malam di Musim Gugur

Amstelveen, Amsterdam
Netherlands
6 October 2015

Suatu malam di musim gugur.

Entah sudah berapa malam yang sering kuhabiskan di negri orang, malam-malam yang tak bermakna yang hadirnya pergi dan dimakan fajar dan begitu seterusnya. Andai saja kali ini fajar menyingsing lebih cepat dari dentuman jarum jam yang tersemat lekat di tangan kiriku. Kupandangi langit malam ini, sama hampanya dengan tatapan nanar seorang gadis diseberang sana, entah apa yang menjadi laranya. Dinginnya angin di musim gugur seakan mampu membekukan aliran darah yang mengalir ke jantungku, berlebihan memang, bukankah sesuatu yang dilebih-lebihkan lebih banyak dipercayai khalayak umum dewasa ini? Aaah bicara apa aku ini, kupandangi cahaya kecil diseberang sana, yang temaramnya menghiasai sebuah taman yang kurang lebih menyerupai sebuah hutan kecil.

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It Is What It Is

It was so subtle indeed

Staying as friend you said

As if we knew it’ll lead somewhere more?

Little bit that I know, you have my curiosity

You said hi asked me to come

There you were, and your little world

Its a little blurry, I held your hand eventually?

Little bit that I know, I die a lil inside

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No edit on this one, kinda lazyyyy

The thing about writing is you gotta have this mood, you know... to write every little details slash non sense that you feel that its deserved to be remembered. Well darling so far i kinda struggle to bring those mood back! yet here i am listening to scientist-coldplay and got all those inspirational shits to write.. anyway, today is kinda really early in the morning which today is my last day-off which i know i kinda sad for having not enough sleep... Before i write so many nonsense, lets just get to the next paragraph, shall we?

Him

Amsterdam, Dam Square
18.07.15
Day time

I found myself strolling around in the city centre or whatever the Dutch call their Dam Square is, as usual Dam Square always full of so many tourists and locals trying to get as many sun light as they could in this sunny weather, some of them just sitting on the bricks under this white monument which I never really paid attention -more pen shapes kinda monument-. This is my year-two already for having flown back and forth from Jakarta-Amsterdam. Nothing special that day, unless all outlets were full of bunch people trying to get their luck on sale season. Me included. I decided to buy myself a backpack i thought, because this time i don't bring my big luggage with me, meaning not even i bring a small purse with me to carry my stuff during my 3 days staying,.. and in anyway i don't think bring the big buddy will be useful for me, ugh what for? this is like the shortest schedule and i don't feel like the need to drag that heavy luggage here and there..

After a long time break

I know right?

Been almost two years that I have not been around actively, though i know that last time i posted something online wasn't actually two years, maybe just a couple months ago. It's been such a journey though for what have been through, sometimes i found myself questioning "Do I making the right decision?" but that's life isn't it? You can't always expecting things to go all the way straight-right. 

Before I go into deeper feelings and thoughts,

The Balm Haul

Hello belle!

As I promised you guys on my instagram @shandymarcy I'll be reviewing my the balm haul :)), so lets start ;)

Keep Your Make Up Brushes Clean

Hello there! embrace yourself for another beauty post ;)

My MAC, Real Techniques, and Shouko brushes

So today I just wanna share with you guys how I clean my brushes in a two ways, so lets start with a simple one ;)

bh Malibu (special edition) palette review

Hi awesome blogger!

It's been forever since I write about beauty topics, so today I'm gonna review about my new arrival palette from bhcosmetics, bh Malibu - California makeup palette collection.

pardon me for the messy background ;)

So that's pretty much the cover and the box palette. For me it comes with a handy package, since it's not so big nor so small, so when you grip it, its just perfect and considering the package theme it is such a cutie!

Singapore Airlines Interview Experience

Heyyhoo!!

Satu lagi sharing interview of being flight attendant, kali ini gue pengen sharing pengalaman gue dulu ketika test di SQ a.k.a Singapore Airlines :).

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# Day 1

Berbeda dengan Garuda, pendaftaran SQ tidak perlu dilakukan dan di-submit secara online (based on my exp. in April 2013) all you gotta do is just download the form and just print it, then you may fill the information columns.

So Actually when I decided to have my initial interview with SQ I was already on background check stage in Garuda Indonesia, but as a person whose curiosity is pretty high, for me it was nothing to lose. The interview was held in Jakarta Design Center, 3rd floor and I was late

Pengalaman Interview Garuda Indonesia 2013

Holla Hi Awesome bloggers!

Post ini bertujuan untuk share my very first pengalaman gue ketika walk in interview / test Garuda Indonesia Airlines, kali aja post ini bisa membantu para wannabes di luar sana yang eager banget untuk join :) and yeah anyway this is the prequel part 1 post of Masa-masa itu lebih tepatnya perjalanan sebelum gue memutuskan resign dari kantor gue yang pertama. So just enjoy :)).

Siapa Salah? - Kamu Salah!

*sighs*

What a day! No wonder sekumpulan manusia di muka bumi ini sering kali mengumandangkan frasa "I hate Monday!". Nggak gue nggak akan pro maupun kontra sama frasa tersebut, kurang lebih karena gue percaya Monday kaya hari-hari lainnya aja, nggak ada yang spesial ataupun bertuah mungkin apesnya karena si Monday letaknya setelah weekend berakhir.

Oke daripada ngalor ngidul nggak jelas ceritanya hari ini gue lumayan nggak fit dan harus ke sesuatu tempat untuk tanda tangan kontrak kerja, tapi pas mau tanda tangan ternyata satu gedung mati lampu cakep emang dan alhasil gue disuruh kembali pulang dengan hasil nihil. Singkat kata aktivitas yang gue jabarkan terlihat sepele memang, tapi here's the problem came from: gue panik dan alhasil nggak mandi ke tempat tanda tangan kontrak, minta tolong tetangga untuk anterin gue ke tkp berhubung gue belum bisa mengendari apapun belajar mobil baru berani gigi satu dan dua  dan jadilah gue naik motor digonceng oleh anak tetangga gue :D thanks to Dita! Setelah sampai di tkp hasilnya nihil karena mati lampu dan gue diberitakan harus kembali besok pagi-pagi sekali untuk tanda tangan kontrak :(.

Diperjalanan pulang gue menimbang-nimbang dan berpikir keras,