Just a couple days ago I am officially welcomed to the quarter life, or some might say the quarter squad #quartersquad and as far as i'm concerned nothing specific has changed in terms of physical transformation (at least that's what I think), well maybe my face gets weirder lately? i have no idea lol.
So many things happened in my life from age 24 to my newly quarter life now, it was a hell of a roller coaster ride I would say. Crazy experiences! life lessons, heart broken stories, sincere happy moments, family bonding, friends who went away, family drama, the new guy(s) I dated, questioning phase, insecurities, mad love? revelation, new faces, and all many priceless moments that I been thru in just 365 days.
Frankly, I don't know what to expect next. I might just be prepared for another surprise? When I'm not so tied up into my work, candidly I scroll what is exactly going around in my circle, I see thru all of my social media and found out that people are getting married, some old friends are waiting their due others are having their bridal shower. All of the wedding invitations are stuck in my mailing inbox. I was like "Wow, did I miss that much?" simply because I dwell into my job, it didn't feel like a job, it feels like I'm living my life to the fullest, I never really aware that time slips away that fast or so what I was thinking.
In my 24th I honestly dealt with anxiety, one of my concerns that it will be socially unacceptable to appear on a wedding day without a plus one, it would make a good joke or at least that's what I thought. In real life I had to make excuses over excuses to politely say no, sometimes I was lucky enough I didn't have to lie because I really need to fly at the moment. Okay I am guilty to keep on refusing to attend those wedding parties, especially when it comes to them whom I know really well. -now if you happen to read this, I AM SORRY DEAR- Let's say those anxiety leads to something worse, insecurity.
So my insecurities grew bigger, I let it consumed me. I was being embarrassed by the fact that I have to get things done literally everything on my own. Shallow? yes. I still remember how I had to bring my macbook and ear plugs just to sit in starbucks for the sake of -if other people staring at me sipping my americano alone, at least they see me "working" with my laptop- Looking back at it now, its not being single which scared me to death, but the idea of people staring at me when I ate alone in a restaurant, or when they gave me "the stare" when I'm buying a single movie ticket bothers me a lot.
To be fair I believe every living human has their own insecurity, not just me alone who deal with such issues. Whether or not they want to bring their issue to the surface and discuss it publicly its totally up to every individual, for me on the other hand I choose to write it down, on my blog -which I don't know who's gonna read it anyway-. In my conclusion, I would say I don't know if such thinking is common amongst my fellow quarter-life out there but along this new age -after spending another 365 days- it got me thinking in a very understanding way and makes me to make peace with myself and my own imperfections, that I don't have to live my life worrying what people might say about me, nor worrying what they thinking of me, no more sweating over a small stuff!
After all, people have their absolute right to say anything about me and its all on me how to react. It doesn't make me stress-free though, a living human will always have their problems of course, yet I have reached a certain level of comprehension about my life that those insecurities I dealt with ain't gonna do far in my upcoming moments.
Cheers!
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