Sleepless Letter to Dearest Bride (The Prettiest of All)

Remind me what's this blog all about again..?

I wish i can write something useful for you thirsty souls. I just couldn't. At least for now, I couldn't. I kinda feel I am a failure. That's my case. But hey let me write about something else, excuse me, would you?

This morning, I wake up really early after been awake all night long, probably even to morning. All i remember is I finished two bottles of wine. It's my best friend going to marry for whatever's sake, and it's me being nervous? I guess? Let's assume so! *wink*

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Satu Malam di Musim Gugur

Amstelveen, Amsterdam
Netherlands
6 October 2015

Suatu malam di musim gugur.

Entah sudah berapa malam yang sering kuhabiskan di negri orang, malam-malam yang tak bermakna yang hadirnya pergi dan dimakan fajar dan begitu seterusnya. Andai saja kali ini fajar menyingsing lebih cepat dari dentuman jarum jam yang tersemat lekat di tangan kiriku. Kupandangi langit malam ini, sama hampanya dengan tatapan nanar seorang gadis diseberang sana, entah apa yang menjadi laranya. Dinginnya angin di musim gugur seakan mampu membekukan aliran darah yang mengalir ke jantungku, berlebihan memang, bukankah sesuatu yang dilebih-lebihkan lebih banyak dipercayai khalayak umum dewasa ini? Aaah bicara apa aku ini, kupandangi cahaya kecil diseberang sana, yang temaramnya menghiasai sebuah taman yang kurang lebih menyerupai sebuah hutan kecil.

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It Is What It Is

It was so subtle indeed

Staying as friend you said

As if we knew it’ll lead somewhere more?

Little bit that I know, you have my curiosity

You said hi asked me to come

There you were, and your little world

Its a little blurry, I held your hand eventually?

Little bit that I know, I die a lil inside

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No edit on this one, kinda lazyyyy

The thing about writing is you gotta have this mood, you know... to write every little details slash non sense that you feel that its deserved to be remembered. Well darling so far i kinda struggle to bring those mood back! yet here i am listening to scientist-coldplay and got all those inspirational shits to write.. anyway, today is kinda really early in the morning which today is my last day-off which i know i kinda sad for having not enough sleep... Before i write so many nonsense, lets just get to the next paragraph, shall we?

Him

Amsterdam, Dam Square
18.07.15
Day time

I found myself strolling around in the city centre or whatever the Dutch call their Dam Square is, as usual Dam Square always full of so many tourists and locals trying to get as many sun light as they could in this sunny weather, some of them just sitting on the bricks under this white monument which I never really paid attention -more pen shapes kinda monument-. This is my year-two already for having flown back and forth from Jakarta-Amsterdam. Nothing special that day, unless all outlets were full of bunch people trying to get their luck on sale season. Me included. I decided to buy myself a backpack i thought, because this time i don't bring my big luggage with me, meaning not even i bring a small purse with me to carry my stuff during my 3 days staying,.. and in anyway i don't think bring the big buddy will be useful for me, ugh what for? this is like the shortest schedule and i don't feel like the need to drag that heavy luggage here and there..

After a long time break

I know right?

Been almost two years that I have not been around actively, though i know that last time i posted something online wasn't actually two years, maybe just a couple months ago. It's been such a journey though for what have been through, sometimes i found myself questioning "Do I making the right decision?" but that's life isn't it? You can't always expecting things to go all the way straight-right. 

Before I go into deeper feelings and thoughts,